Chris Christie seeks penance after selling soul to Trump (Satire)

In a desperate gamble for power and fame, in the aftermath of a failed presidential campaign, Chris Christie partook in a Faustian gamble, agreeing to sell his soul to Donald Trump in exchange for a position in the Trump administration.

Christie recounts that Trump told him, “I’m so good at deals.  I make deals with China.  China.  I make deals with Mexico.  I make deals with everyone.  I will make a deal with you.”

Christie's fate hangs in the balance until he can regain his soul from Trump  Tower.

Christie’s fate hangs in the balance until he can regain his soul from Trump Tower.

At this point Christie recalls that Trump began to suck his soul before stashing it in his toupee.

But now Christie seeks penance, to wash away his sins and to emerge a new man.

Penance suggestions include:

The Sanders campaign meanwhile has inquired as to whether or not Goldman Sachs still owns Hillary Clinton’s soul, but the Democratic National Committee has restricted its access into that database.

 

One Comment

  1. Mr. Christie has nothing left but to walk the street and peddle his assets for Mr. Trump.
    He’s done politically in New Jersey so this was his only way to stay relevant.
    Ready to run away from home the Governor picked the guy with the largest prospects

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