Ronald Reagan Leads Latest GOP Poll (satire)

Data just released by CompletelyValidPolls.com has revealed that Ronald Reagan has seized the lead in the latest GOP poll, with a ten-point margin over the next candidate Donald Trump.

The glorious return of trickle-down economics may be near.

The glorious return of trickle-down economics may be near.

According to the same source, the number one Republican voter concern was: “How to deal with living in the past.”

Perhaps for this reason these voters are gravitating towards Reagan, whose campaign has just unveiled the slogan of “Made America Great.”

Former frontrunner Donald Trump was not amused.  “What a low-energy candidate.  I would like to see him act a little more alive on stage.  The guy is clueless.  Ping Pong Diplomacy?  What a disaster.  China loves me and my serve,” he said.

When briefed by his aides, Ben Carson confessed, “I don’t see the big fuss with [Reagan].  Did he separate Siamese twins?  Anyone can end a war between polar bears and Eskimos.”  On another note, Carson later fired his foreign policy advisor after discovering his misinterpretation of the term “Cold War.”

Mr. Reagan was unavailable for comment.

 

”Sources”

“Official Portrait of President Reagan 1981″ by Unknown – http://www.dodmedia.osd.mil/DVIC_View/Still_Details.cfm?SDAN=DASC9003096&JPGPath=/Assets/Still/1990/Army/DA-SC-90-03096.JPG. Licensed under Public Domain via Commons – https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Official_Portrait_of_President_Reagan_1981.jpg#/media/File:Official_Portrait_of_President_Reagan_1981.jpg

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