Obamacare: More Like Obama I Don’t Care (Satire)

You thought that 95% on your Healy paper was impressive.

Think again.

Czar Obama finally reached his enrollment goal for the Affordable Care Act exchanges after their rocky rollout last October. According to revised figures posted earlier this week, 7.5 million Americans have now signed up for the mandatory healthcare bill. 7.5 million out of 313.9 million Americans. This calls for celebration. Pop the champagne, sound the trumpets and throw the confetti, because .000002% of the population just got healthcare! Wow, that’s going to be on the White House refrigerator for a while!

Don’t even bother asking for an image citation.

But don’t get too excited! Only 80% of the people who signed up have actually paid. Paying for health insurance is so last year. When I went to the mean streets of Bellarmine to find out what the people thought, I received answers such as “I honestly couldn’t care less” and “my parents deal with that stuff.”

Now let’s get on to the people who really matter such as the one and only Barack Hussein Obama. The President said that the “law is good for the country, regardless of politics, and that the numbers show Americans want it and that it’s here to stay.”

According to the latest Gallup poll on Obamacare, 54% of Americans view it unfavorably and 43% view it favorably. Do they teach math at Harvard?

Sources

http://www.cnn.com/2014/04/01/politics/obamacare-signups-target/index.html?iref=allsearch

http://www.gallup.com/poll/168491/americans-remain-negative-healthcare-law.aspx

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